Sibling Rivalry :: Part Two

Sibling Rivalry! Just the phrase has us grinding our teeth and looking for someone to throttle. How many times has a road trip or a meal been ruined by the squabbling that goes on between your children? Just once you wish those children would act like the angels you thought they were when they were still swaddled and sleeping. In Part One of this Sibling Rivalry series, I had the audacity to suggest that not only must we be part of the solution, but we may also be part of the problem! If you remember, Tip #1 for Keeping Sibling Rivalry to a Minimum is:

1. Make sure you are not teaching your kids to bicker by the way you treat your spouse.

OK, OK, I will stop rubbing it in and start to carp on the kids who so often deserve it. So Tip #2 for Keeping Sibling Rivalry to a Minimum is:

2. Don’t compare siblings to each other in a negative way.

You know what I mean. “Why can’t you be like your sister – smart?” or “You and your lazy brother are just alike”. Those are fighting words and just the thing to set the sights of brothers and sisters on each other. Jealousy raises its big ugly head and kids start to think they are in a contest with one another. Why is it so hard for us to accept the fact that the God of the universe who has never striped a zebra the same or painted a duplicate sunset, would make all of our kids out of the same mold. God is a God of variety and originals and thus your kids. Sure there are things that rub us the wrong way about how each kid is hard wired, but that doesn’t make it wrong – just different. One of the four freedoms that Grace Based parents give their kids is the freedom to be different, or as Tim says, “The freedom to be weird, quirky, strange and bizarre” (from Grace Based Parenting). So bite your tongue the next time you want to remind one of your kids how they just didn’t measure up to one of their siblings. Find the positive spin on whatever they did or are. Remember the mantra you pulled out when the art work came home from kindergarten and recycle it. “Wow, that is interesting. Tell me about it.” Keeping Sibling Rivalry to a Minimum 1. Make sure you are not teaching your kids to bicker by the way you treat your spouse. 2. Don’t compare siblings to each other in a negative way. More to come…… Sibling Rivalry: Part One Sibling Rivalry: Part Two Sibling Rivalry: Part Three Sibling Rivalry: Part Four Sibling Rivalry: Part Five Sibling Rivalry: Part Six Sibling Rivalry: Part Seven Sibling Rivalry: Part Eight