The Sheer Weight of your Kid’s Rebellion

There’s nothing that hurts a mom’s or dad’s heart quite like having a child who is going astray. It is a constant ache, and sometimes it’s worse than the pain you feel for a child who is seriously ill or contending with some kind of disability. Those problems aren’t of the child’s choosing. But when your son or daughter is consciously turning his back on God, or is hell-bent on rejecting the value system you have tried so hard to give her, it’s like a sucker punch to your faith. To think that your son or daughter would deliberately choose a path that can only lead to disappointment and regret; well, it’s a hurt that can seep its way into the deepest crevices of your soul. And it tears you up to see what kids’ rebellion does to them personally—to their relationships, to their health, and to their potential. They lose credibility as fast as they are losing emotional and spiritual momentum. Many of the kids who take on a mantle of rebellion put together a series of bad choices that place them in bondage to their mistakes—bondage they often can’t get out of on their own. Yet when you try to help them, they react like a cat stuck in a tree, snarling and striking out at you as you attempt to coach them out of the mess they are in. Most of the time these young people are closed to your reasonable ideas. Sometimes they are closed to talking at all. They won’t let you inside their heart long enough for you to get a glimpse of the contradictions that are tormenting them. When they finally do speak up, you not only face their hostility, but you often hear a child spewing out a philosophy of life that bears no resemblance to the one you thought you gave them. It hurts to see them making a 180-degree turn away from the direction they were going during most of their childhood. It’s as though the little cherubs who sat on your lap and basked in the Bible stories you read to them have suddenly enrolled in Osama Senior High. For More information on how to handle or prevent your kids from rebelling, see Dr. Kimmel’s Book,Why Christian Kids Rebel. ©Copyright 2010 Family Matters and Dr. Tim Kimmel