Learning from the Experts

  Any parent will tell you there are no true experts in parenting, only people who have learned from their mistakes. In my mind, the only true experts I look to are those who have parented children with Grace, and whose children are older than mine.   We moved overseas when our daughter was just 8 months old and our oldest son was born 3 months before we returned to the states. We also desire to live abroad again someday. Because of our past unique life situation and future goals, I often look to women who have raised children abroad for parenting advice. They are my Mom Hero’s. They’ve successfully raised children in the midst of different cultures and countries and huge transitions.   The first time I met Susan and her family, they lived in Germany and her children were in high school and junior high. It had been about a year since they’d moved from another European country. I was very impressed with how her teenagers interacted with us, with their parents and their peers. Although they acted like normal teenagers, they seemed to have a confidence about them that is rare in kids that age. So I asked Susan, “What did you do to raise such great, confidant kids?” Sweet and humble Susan just laughed as if I was crazy to think it were true but then said something that has stuck with me ever since. “I just played with them a lot. I spent time with them. If they liked to read, I’d read books with them. If they liked to play video games, I’d spend time playing video games.”   Is it really that simple? Do our kids just want us to spend time with them? The more and more I observe grown children who love God and love others, the more I find parents who spent intentional time with their children during the younger years. Susan’s words ring through my mind on a regular basis, perhaps because God knows I have a tendency to do things FOR my kids, but struggle with desire to do things WITH my kids.   Of course, the other common factor I see in truly great kids is Grace. As I’ve observed parents who raise kids through multiple transnational moves and changes in international schools, I’ve seen that they have parented with a lot of Grace.   If you are looking for parenting mentors, look to those families who have older children or grown children who demonstrate characteristics or life styles that you hope to see in your kids. Ask those parents for advice. I guarantee you will be getting tips from true experts.