Are You a Controller or Easy to Control? Take our Quiz!

The following is a list of questions meant to help you evaluate your potential for control.  Answer them as honesty as you can, and after you do, have someone close to you answer them on your behalf.  See how well his viewpoints and yours match.  You are about to learn something important about yourself.

 printable version (.pdf)

Are You a Controller?

**************************** 1. When things seem to be getting out of control, do you tend to “take charge” because you trust your ability to make things turn out right more than you do the ability of those close to you? Yes ______         No ______ 2. When you don’t get your way, do feelings rise up within you – anger, fear, or maybe shame? Yes ______         No ______ 3. Do you think, It’s all up to me. If I don’t do it, it won’t get done? Yes ______         No ______ 4. Does the thought They never seem to do it right sometimes cross your mind when dealing with your associates, spouse or children? Yes ______         No ______ 5. Do the people close to you tend to defer to you for the last word in their plans or dreams? Yes ______         No ______ 6. Do the people you care about the most feel their thoughts, suggestions, or desires can gain an objective hearing from you? Yes ______         No ______ 7. If people’s opinions of you are important, do you use any personality strengths to manipulate their opinions without their knowing it? Yes ______         No ______ 8. Do you find it easy to accept being out-voted when plans are being formulated within your circle of relationships? Yes ______         No ______ 9. When you pray, do you suggest solutions to your dilemmas to God? Yes ______         No ______ 10. When you’re around powerful people, do you feel a strong urge to try to “beat them at their own game”? Yes ______         No ______ How did your responses to these questions concur with your child’s or your spouse’s evaluation of you?  The strong urge to control may be so much a part of your life that you don’t even notice it.  But others do, and they are strongly affected by it. What about those who find themselves on the receiving end?  The next set of questions will help you determine if your tendencies fall on the side of being controlled by others:

Are You Easy to Control?

**************************** 1. Do you feel that your opinions carry much weight with the people close to you? Yes ______         No ______ 2. When things seem out of control, do you prefer someone else to solve the problem? Yes ______         No ______ 3. Are you free to make most of the major decisions that confront you each day without gaining the approval of your spouse, parent or closest friend? Yes ______         No ______ 4. When you spend a lot of time around people you love the most (spouse, parent, friends), do they make you feel free and unconfined inside? Yes ______         No ______ 5. Do you feel as though it’s difficult to consistently please the person or people closest to you? Yes ______         No ______ 6. Do you live by the motto “Peace at any price”? Yes ______         No ______ 7. Is your future outlook exciting rather than gloomy? Yes ______         No ______ 8. Do you have a difficult time responding lovingly to the person or people you care for the most? Yes ______         No ______ 9. Do you feel empowered (better about yourself and your abilities) by the people closest to you? Yes ______         No ______ 10. Do you feel threatened to voice your frustration when the people close to you leverage the strength of their personalities against you? Yes ______         No ______ Nobody wants to be controlled.  It puts nothing into us and takes a lot out.  God’s design is for us to develop relationships that empower us and others – relationships that draw out the best in everyone involved.  God wants us to be free, especially within the confines of our families.  And whether we’re the controllers or the controlled.  He can enable us to enjoy the same freedom that the apostle Paul experienced when God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9) If you want to learn the weaknesses that fuel controlling spirits, check out The High Cost of High Control (our October Resource of the month).  God wants to perfect His power through our weaknesses.