Discovering your Child’s Heart

Imagine being forced to wear your shoes on the opposite feet all the time. Or what if you always had to dress in clothing that was too small for you? You would have ongoing discomfort. It might not be enough to stop you in your tracks, but it would certainly keep you off your game. Like a low-grade fever or a persistent headache, you’d be distracted from feeling your best and putting forth your strongest efforts. If you had to put up with this over a prolonged period of time, it could do permanent damage to your emotional system. This is how our children can feel when we fail to align our relationship with them to the unique features of their personality style. After a while, they may start to feel hopeless when it comes to being understood or appreciated for how they were put together. Learned hopelessness leads to learned helplessness. It puts in motion a series of consequences that can undermine a person all of their life. One of the greatest gifts you’re giving your child by going through the Kids Flag Page is the ability to manage their emotional system well. By aligning your parenting style with your child’s unique personality bents, you increase the odds that your children will master their feelings rather than letting their feelings master them. Like being forced to wear shoes on the opposite feet, a misalignment of a parenting style to a child’s unique personality strength can cause kids a lot of emotional anxiety. Excerpt from Dr. Kimmel’s book, Discover Your Child’s Heart which is included with the Kids Flag Page package. ©Copyright 2010 Family Matters and Dr. Tim Kimmel     {Originally published in 2010}