Can This Marriage be Saved? PART I

While reading the paper my husband turned to me and said, “I wonder if there is a politician who isn’t cheating on his spouse.” He was reading one more name, in a never ending list, of those committing adultery.   But Capitol Hill isn’t the only place encountering, “your cheatin’ heart.” After working in divorce recovery ministry for over 25 years, I’m sad to report that there is no shortage of infidelity in the pew or the pulpit.   “I know it was wrong to cheat on my husband,” Jennifer shared. “But Jason feels like my soul mate. It isn’t just sex; we have a deeper bond than that.”   “I’m a Christian,” she continued, “and I want to fall back in love with my husband because it’s the right thing to do, and the affair is hurting my kids. But I can’t seem to pull myself away from Jason.”   What’s it going to take for Jennifer to restore her marriage? Is it possible to put “Humpty Dumpty” back together again? When Pandora’s Box has been opened can the evil, sorrow and suffering be shoved back under the lid?   There is hope. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. He can do the same for a marriage infected by an extramarital affair. However, it will require that Jennifer and her husband be brutally honest with each other. They must recognize that it will take a long time and hard work to rebuild the trust that has been broken. With prayer, accountability, excellent counseling, and a fierce commitment to make the marriage better than before, it can happen.   “After my husband had an affair we attempted to go back together and restore the relationship,” Sharon said. “The church leaders shared Bible verses on marriage with us and explained why God hates divorce,” she continued. “They said God wouldn’t forgive me for my sins, if I didn’t immediately forgive my husband. And that we should resume a sexual relationship right away.”   “I did everything I was told,” She wept, “but it didn’t work. Five months later he left me and the kids again. And now he is living with his girlfriend. I’m so confused and angry.”   Because Sharon followed the advice she was given, it’s likely she is more devastated than the initial blow.   Rather than taking the time and the steps required for a true healing, Sharon and her husband swept the affair under the rug. And the unresolved issues which led to adultery were still brewing and rotting beneath the relationship. When this occurs a toxic gas is inhaled by the couple, their children, their church family and those around them. The poison goes on to destroy future generations and Satan smiles. Once again he has deceived the Bride of Christ, and she is totally unaware.

Sneak Peek in to Part II: “The issues associated with adultery are often complex, and there is no simple formula for restoration. However, if the couple sincerely desires a healthy, thriving marriage after an affair here are a few beneficial insights…”

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