01
May
2014
My Idea vs. His Plan
“Are you sure you want to do this? We are still pretty young…” I asked my husband the night before his “Let’s-make-sure-we-don’t-get-pregnant-again” surgery. He waited a while and then responded with “I never thought I would have 3 kids by 30.” And that was that. But that got me thinking – I never thought I would have three kids by the age of 30 either! I laid there in bed that night thinking about all the ideas and plans I had for myself when I was growing up. I pictured myself living in college dorms, possibly traveling to another country with a friend, or even knowing what I wanted to do with my life before starting a family. I am a planner at heart; from my grocery list made out in the pattern I walk the aisles of my Fry’s to my life goals planned out from short term to long term and the boxes next to each one. Some call this Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I call it My Life. Then the pang of guilt set in. I had to stop and allow myself to think of all the great things I had accomplished all while living out my own Plan B. I wasn’t able to attend college and live in dorms, but I did earn my Bachelor Degree (all while taking care of three young kids, thank you very much). I never went back packing with my best friends, but I do get to take wonderful vacations with my family and plan second and third honeymoons with my life-long best friend. And as for “knowing what I want to do with my life”, well, I have decided that if Plan A worked out all perfectly as planned…I would definitely be bored. I am grateful my life took those turns, loops and ups & downs that I wasn’t looking for or planning on. I have absolutely no regrets about my life thus far; after all, Plan A was just MY idea and not His plan.