How do you do it all?

I am woman…hear me roar. Okay, really, it’s more like – I am woman…hear me snore. Because, seriously, I am taking it upon myself to speak for all womankind…We are stinkin’ tired. I have been asked many times, How do you do it all? It’s true – I am a homeschooling mom of four, a pastor’s wife, until recently was in graduate school, active at church and, somehow, manage to attend the occasional Zumba class at the Y. I have also been a working mom, a pregnant mom, and a juggling family drama mom. So, while I may not relate to your exact situation, I know what it is like to be stretched very thin. So, how do I do it all? I’m so glad you asked. 🙂 Here are my tips for successfully navigating the waters of motherhood. These are just some things I have tried – you may or may not want to follow my example.

1. I have accidentally locked one of my kids in the car. Fortunately, it was the oldest and she could let herself out. While fewer children may make errands easier – I would not recommend this one.
2. I have mistakenly swapped lunches with my 6 year old. I didn’t mind the bologna sandwich and cupcake. She, on the other hand, not so crazy about the carrot sticks and yogurt. This is probably not a good idea either.
3. I have put medicine in my daughter’s nose that was supposed to be taken orally. While this did not harm her at all – it also did not relieve the congestion. Personally, I would administer the medicine properly and just be done with it.
4. I have arrived at a work, church or school event (more than once) either missing deodorant or having not brushed my teeth. True, skipping these steps in the morning routine does save time and will get you out of the house sooner. But – those people around you may prefer that you take care of normal personal hygiene.
5. I have sat through an entire work meeting only to discover much later that I had one of my husband’s dress socks stuck to the back of my sweater. I’m just saying…a little spin in front of the mirror in the morning is probably a good idea.
6. I’m on a first name basis with the local pizza delivery boy. He has been to the house enough times that he no longer asks, “Man, how many kids do you have in there?”
7. I have learned the art of occupying all of the children for fifteen minutes. This happens to be just enough time to hide in the bathroom and eat the last brownie, cookie or oatmeal creme pie (my personal favorite.)
8. I have mastered the 5-minute clean-up. This comes in very handy for surprise guests. First, dim the lights. Second, light a candle. Third, close all bedroom doors.
9. Don’t tell my mom, but I haven’t “sorted” my laundry in five years. Towels, clothes and, if I’m honest, sometimes toys all go in the wash together. I just have better things to do with my time than sorting darks and lights – like eating that piece of pie in the bathroom. Priorities, people, priorities.
10. A heavy helping of God’s grace and a little bit of caffeine. Okay, really, a whole lot of caffeine.

There you go. That’s how I do it all. I’m not promising that it will work for you. So, tell me, how do you do it all?