Meeting our child’s 3 Inner Needs is only possible within an atmosphere of grace. As the metaphor suggests, the atmosphere of a home, just like the atmosphere of a room or of a planet, impacts what happens within it. If our home’s atmosphere is defined by fear, it’s going to be difficult for our kids to have a sense of security or a strong hope for the future. If our home’s atmosphere is one defined by pleasing others rather than pleasing God, our kids get the sense that they are trying to earn our favor and the favor of others rather than resting securely in the unconditional love of Christ and finding their significance in serving Him.
Grace is the atmosphere within which our efforts to meet our kids three inner needs will flourish. Creating an atmosphere of grace means giving our kids four freedoms.
Freedom To Be Different
Allowing our kids to be weird, quirky, strange, and unique. It’s often those things that our kids do that most annoy and inconvenience us that are the primary ingredients in their God-given uniqueness.
To Be Vulnerable
Our kids need to know that we are always a safe place where they can come with their fears, concerns, hurts and insecurities and that we will never assess those things against our love and favor for them.
To Be Candid
Our kids need to know that they can be honest with us without it costing them in our relationship. Sometimes they will need to be candid with us about things that we have done that have hurt, angered or annoyed them. They also need to be able to share struggles that they are going through or areas in which they have failed. We need to be prepared to eat a lot of crow and ask forgiveness.
To Make Mistakes
It’s not a question of if our kids will make mistakes, its when and how big. They need to know that nothing can separate them from God’s love or ours, and that home is a proving ground where mistakes, even big ones, never mean the end of a relationship.