17
May
2010
How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex – The Sex Talk Checklist
Are you wondering when and how to tell your kids about sex? Darcy and I faced the same challenges as you. We wanted to guard our kids from the world’s lies. We also want to do everything we could to protect them from becoming the victims of sexual abuse. We were convinced that the best way to guard them was to equip them with the tools they needed to filter the information they would have coming at them every day, help them to know what was appropriate and to empower them to speak up if anyone ever crossed any boundaries with them. About the time they were starting Kindergarten, we sat down as a couple with each of our children. We didn’t go into a bunch of graphic detail but we covered the issue thoroughly. Here was our checklist for discussing sex with our young children:
- The Story of Life: an elementary course in sperm and egg biology.
- The Story of Love: God has made the act of sex a very pleasurable and exciting private dimension of a married couple. It’s something they can look forward to in their future married life.
- The Truth About Lies: because this is such a vital and personal gift from God, Satan is going to work overtime to ruin it for them. He’s going to bombard them with all kinds of lies and half-truths to get them to squander all of the good that God meant for sex to represent in their lives.
- The Hormones: in a few years, hormones are going to start to create a natural interest and yearning for sexual outlets. God wants them to trust Him for His best; Satan wants them to surrender to him for his counterfeit.
- The Promise: we’re going to be there to walk with them through the confusion of their culture. That means if they hear anything – a word, a slang expression, conflicting information… whatever – and they wonder what it is referring to, just ask us, and we’ll explain it. It also means that we’re going to be there to walk with them through the temptations they’ll battle from hormones, attractions, and the pull from their culture, as well as listening to them, believing them, and protecting them should anyone in their life ever cross their boundaries.
If we go into our conversation with our kids prepared, we will feel more confident and we will have the assurance that we are covering the important topics we want to talk about. Remember: Talking with your kids about sex is not a one time event, but an ongoing dialogue.