Reflections of a New Mom | Good Mom vs Bad Mom

The Good Mom vs Bad Mom battle in my mind is much like a heated Wimbledon match these days.  Can you relate? I wake up before my children to take a shower, have a warm cup of coffee and spend some time in the Word – Good Mom. Rather than interacting with my girls the first two hours of the morning, I let them learn life’s valuable lessons from the big purple dinosaur, Barney – Bad Mom. I decide to choose lap time over screen time and sit down and color with my 2 year old – Good Mom. During what is supposed to be a happy and fun craft time, I lose my patience and discipline out of anger (not love) – Bad Mom. I make homemade baby food for my 9 month old. – Good Mom. I forget to meal plan for the week and we eat those awful I-don’t-know-if-this-is-even-real-meat frozen burritos (2 nights in a row) – Bad Mom. I really, really, really want to be a good mom but more often than not I feel like a bad mom.   Please tell me you’ve been there too?! Thankfully, reminders of God’s grace always seem to find their way into each of my days. At the conclusion of one particular day when the average of my “Good Mom” and “Bad Mom” moments would have certainly equaled “Bad Mom,” I found myself putting our youngest (Elsie) to bed, and rather than singing Elsie’s usual bedtime lullaby, the Holy Spirit prompted me to start singing the very familiar tune, Amazing Grace.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see.

As I sung the words of Amazing Grace, I found my mind reflecting back on the happenings of that particular day; of the “ups” and the “downs.”  Of my time in the word and of my time neglecting my girls.  Of the sweet time coloring with Nora and of my tendency to be quick to become angry and discipline out of that anger. Of the baby food and of the nasty frozen burritos. In that moment, as my sweet little Elsie who was looking up at me, God spoke directly to my heart and said “It’s ok Steph/Mommy… I still love you…regardless of how many bad mom and good mom moments you’ve had today.” That is truth to live by my friends. God’s grace is always there.  In abundance. I walked out of Elsie’s room that evening with tears running down my face praying these words… “Lord God – Thank you for moments like these when you show me how much you love me and how incredibly gracious you are to me. I’m so very thankful that your grace is always there to cover me, even on the tough days. Help me to teach my girls of your sweet amazing grace each and every day.  Because of the matchless name of Jesus. Amen.” You are a good mom because of God’s grace.  Cling to that truth today – for it’s in the truth that we can find freedom.

 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” – Ephesians 2:8 (ESV)

Am I alone in this Good Mom vs Bad Mom battle?  How do YOU combat the enemy’s lies and cling to God’s grace during the tough days?

  {Originally published in 2012}